Thursday, August 28, 2008

Mark it is your birthday, get ready to die...

Well at least get ready to have fun and maybe drink a few beers. You could even go to Mahar's! I am sure most of these fine gentleman will spend some time with you on the day of your birth. This is probably not news or maybe even that exciting because you see these guys all the time. These are some awesome dudes though so you are probably in for at least an 8 maybe 9 out of 10 time.



The partying will most not likely be taking place on a bus. This picture is on a bus. It is from the trip we took to Yankee stadium last year. I bet you wish some Yankees were coming to the party but they can't because they have a game tomorrow. I think Carl Pavano is pitching. Anyway everyone may have more fun on a party bus but I do not see that in your future. Here is hoping your birthday rocks with or without a party bus.

And lastly, for your entertainment, here is how Antwuan's night is going to go down.

Starting off the night blending into furniture...



Chugging some beer...



Chugging a ton of beer...



Puking that beer up big time...



Rallying from the puke to chug some more...



Pushing his ability to chug a ton of beer to the limit...



Puking one more time although not as much as the first time still it will suck hard...



Ending the night with cigarettes and playing the fake drums...



HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARK!!!!!

KEVIN



(so many birthday cakes)

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Meatbrau by Conrad...



Beer Olympics! Yes my friends are having the second annual Beer Olympics this Saturday. I cannot make it because my friend Mark is having a birthday tomorrow night back in Albany (I think they may try and have a mini Beer Olympics). So I shall be missing this years event. Dammit.

Conrad, my sister Katie, and her boyfriend Super Steve will be forming an unholy alliance of dominance at Beer Olympics 2. I Can Haz Beer is the name to remember. There will be other great teams but I do not know if any will have such a great name or logo.

I have no idea how the Olympics will be run this year. I don't know what events will be involved. All I know is that everyone better be watching out for IHB. Meatloaf on a can of beer is the best.




Good luck!

Kevin

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Happy Birthday Ronrad...



Cages and a ton of dudes stuffed inside them.



Fake making out with Shoemaker.



Dressing up like a little kitty who loves Miller Lite.



Passing out during a toilet paper party.



Hope you had a Happy Birthday.

Love,

Kevin

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Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Sick in bed when I should be packing for a move...

My parents for some reason had the awesome idea to move literally feet from the beach this year. I am out of the house, my sister will be on her way and my brother is off to college. Good idea right? Maybe a few years ago, but it does not make sense for them to do it now. Oh and it will be a bigger house. Awesome.

So that means I have to go through a ton of junk in a few days and label it stay or go. I truly hate moving and wish I had more time to do a proper cleansing or purging of extra "stuff" from my life. I came home this past Friday but Conrad ended up coming to Long Island and it was Gary's birthday so we had a party. Actually it was an 11HHH. That was mint but I was a bit sick already or at least felt a cold coming on and the party made it worse. Going into Astoria and then NYC the next day kinda sealed the deal and I have been sick since Sunday (except when I had to suck it up to go out to a family dinner).

Anyway I am trying to sort some things out here at home and with the SUPER! and Mortekai things that are flying around. Emails and art and what not piling up while trying to learn how to sell items on Ebay and lastly trying to decide what relics from my life I can do without. Because you know even though it is a bigger house I have a feeling this is going to be a large museum like the Frye's house from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

On the train home I made the image below. This is from a picture we took at the Ghibli Museum in Mitaka near the home we stayed at while in Japan. I edited the photo with Adobe Ps magic.



More soon when I feel better and have packed. I HATE MOVING!!

MORTEKAI

Happy B Day Gary!!



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Monday, August 18, 2008

Top Ten Reasons Not to Miss Long Island This Summer!

1.) The blonde, or at least dyed blonde, bombshell that is Herpes.



2.) Meeting up with the three harpies of VD all at once. Chlamydia, Syphilis and their friend Gonorrhea. The burning will last a lifetime.



3.) Having these two winning bartenders serve up a delightful STD cocktail to coat your throat YUM! (Is it just me or do you think maybe she bought those boobs?)



4.) The possibility of running into this pack of Morons. Tony and his broad Gina here manage to harness the unholy powers of the devils triple threat, hair gel, ridiculously huge sunglasses and the worst of the bunch fake tanning to new levels of terrible.



5.) The tragic fact that this big, sweaty gathering of total Douche Bags could be out there waiting for you. I guess two of the three should get credit for having the balds to wear pink and baby blue flowery shirts.



6.) The annoyance of trying to hold onto any type of booty and or treasure with this Twat walking around taking necklaces and touching his own nipples. Although he is most likely trying to give these out to girls who will show him some boob. If that is the case then why the goggles? Is he afraid of a run away nipple?



7.) Having this guy flash "The Dragon" at you all night. "A YO, Check out da Dragon!" or "Don't mess wit da fuckin Dragon BRO!" or "ROOAARRR its da Dragon!" are just some of the possible Dragon tattoo related nonsense you may hear. If you happen to be a girl and are around this guy well than you may have it worse. No doubt he will work "The Dragon" into his lame pick up lines. Rinse this guy out of your mouth with this somewhat related clip. Watch Afro Ninja try to Enter the Dragon.



8.) There are so many things running through my mind when I look at this ass that I can't even focus. I imagine when he was going to pose for this picture he wanted to have a "What the fuck you lookin at asshole?" type of thing going on. He probably also threw some "Look at dis bitch I got!" in there also. Wow what a dick.



9.) This is why I sometimes truly hate being from Long Island. These are the kind of assholes that Long Island gets associated with. Sleazy, Touchy, and Molesty the three dwarves of the apocalypse. Also that kissy lip shit is outrageously obnoxious.



10.) The only thing keeping this picture from melting your world is the guy on the left with the visor. Visor guy may also be a dick but at least he has the sense to wear short shorts with his shirt tucked in so his gut will hang over his belt. Those two other assholes though, what the fuck? Two words Date Rape, watch out ladies.



So if you did not get a chance to spend time on Long Island this summer good for you. The whole of your life will be better for not having experienced any of the above assholes in person. If you somehow went to L.I. an avoided the cluster fuck of horrible and had a good time I salute you!

MORTEKAI

P.S. Here is a drawing about talking shit. A fitting topic for this post. This was done on tracing paper with blue pen, red pen, paint marker, confidential stickers and white out. I do not have a title for this one.



P.P.S I went to Japan for three weeks and traveled all around the country. Well not really all around but we did visit several cities and got to experience a lot about Japanese life. Having said that a post is forthcoming as are other promised posts from the past. Also there will be comics/zines on the two trips to Japan. I wish I was still there right now. My friend Takanari said to me one night while we were out he thought I must have been Japanese in another life. Another friend Kuma, which means bear, told Christine that I was like Peter Pan. I hope he meant that in a good way and not a Michael Jackson creepy way. I mean I don't have a monkey nor do I have toddler sleep overs so I think he meant it positively.

Anyway I hope new comics thunder will be arriving soon.

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