Wednesday, February 14, 2007

Valentines Day + Cruise Time!

So I think Valentine's Day is a made up dumb holiday. Why should some greeting card companies and florists and chocolate makers and ladies undergarment sellers get to decide that February 14th is the day that I should show someone I care about that I care about them in a caring money spending fashion? I have come to the conclusion that I may show the person that I care about that I love them today or on any other February 14th in the future but it will be because I want to.

What I guess I am saying is that I declare Valentines Day the female Christmas. What I mean is that if my gf happens to piss me off a lot during the year or if she burns dinner or something she will be opening a box containing a lump of coal for V-day. That may seem harsh but hear me out. Who says Santa is the only one who can make naughty and nice lists? I do not think it was the Catholic church so it also must be some other assholes. In fact it was invented by the biggest assholes in the world. Parents that do not know how to parent. Back in the olden days when people used to say hello to each other when walking down the street some genius go the idea that they could rule their children's lives with a series of threats and rewards. Also I think a little fear was thrown in. This is what I have been told it went down like.

"Timmy if you are good this year and continue making daddy so angry he has to get drunk and beat mommy, an imaginary fat lush named Santa Claus will not bring you a new bike!" said some random mother one year to her young and impressionable child.

That is how it got started. That is how the fear of Santa was built into children. That and they fact that parents tell you he can see you when your sleeping and he knows when you are awake. So basically he is a straight creeper and you don't want your parents to hit each other after hitting the bottle so you conform to being good, problems solved.

This is my vision for Valentines Day. I will rule with an iron fist promising cards or flowers or edible underwear if my lova behaves for the rest of the year, except on her birthday because everyone can act stupid on their birthday. I think this is the best plan ever and I would like to see you come up with a better one. This shall be the icon of this new Valentines Day a cherub dressed like santa.



Here is a link to the wikipedia Valentines Day entry. You can read that if you want to know about the origins of this holiday and stuff like that. But if you are not a weenie than you would probably rather read the St. Valentine Day Massacre entry. That is much more better fo readin.

Aside from todays "holiday" I also would like to mention that this will be the last day of posting for about a week. I will be going on vaykay with the Shoemakers again and it is going to be so awesome. Last years trip was an experience and I can only imagine this years will be similarly insane. Here is a link to the post about the previous trip, soo good. The only thing I am going to be doing for the next week is livin the dream. I hope we dress like pirates this time.





I did not have a pic of shoe being a pirate. I put up what I feel is the next best thing a picture of Shoe slaying it. Anytime he goes on vacation Shoe is a real ladies man putting everyone else to shame. In this picture he is charming the pants off of Conrad but I did not have a photo of Shoe charming a lady so I went with what I had. You get the point Shoe = charming.

Pray for our safe return!
MORTEKAI

p.s. I am really liverwursty today. ILYAAF

2 Comments:

Blogger Conrad said...

Those are a couple of intense pictures.

I wish there was a day where violent flesh eating cherubs chased humans like that. It would make us all appreciate survival more.

11:19 AM, February 14, 2007  
Blogger Conrad said...

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v213/ganghiscon/fairy.gif

11:43 AM, February 17, 2007  

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