Tuesday, May 23, 2006

SCREW BLOGGER! NO MORE YANKIE MY WANKIE!

For some awesome reason Blogger has been sucking it real hard lately. Like seriously ultra, super, monster hard. Blogger can't get enough and is starting to develop a reputation around town because of it's ultimately hard sucking. I mean I am not one to tell tales out of school but trust me Blogger needs to calm down immediately. If I cannot get my photos to get a link instead of being temporary internet files soon, Blogger is in for it. This is the anti-AIRWOLF, this is so annoying it's GROUNDWOLF. There you made me call you groundwolf, happy now?

I think I should share something else today beside my extreme anger ats the Blogger. So here comes a few pointless words about the man, the myth, the legend, Long Duk Dong (click for gong sound suckas!).



Damn the Donger is smooth, his power cannot be denied. Check this, Bowlish hair cut to Korean accent equals sure fire score with the ladies. They don't call him Long Duk Dong for nothing, that's his real name right there not some foolish nickname. He is forever branded with the power of the Dong. We all could learn a thing or two from the Donger. For example if you are presented with a chance to visit a foreign land as an exchange student or something to that effect, take full advantage. Crash a car, eat some food, drink a ton of booze, and bang some foreign chicks. And if someone comes up to you and starts givin you static about his "Au-to-mo-beeeeeeeeeeeel" you roll that fool off by repeating him and then laughing in his old wrinkly face. Oh, and make sure you sleep in a tree at least once. Sleeping in a tree leaves you fully prepared to sneak attack any victim you should choose. They would be all like, "HOLY COW PIES, WHERE DID YOU COME FROM!?! OUCH MY TESTICLES!!" complete ninja sneak attack. That is how the Donger does it. Also try to make sure your accent is completely exaggerated. Being from New York I have done this many a time. For example the more I curse and sound like a stereotypical New Yorker the better. Also saying "wada" instead of "water" is key. It totally works too, laying on a thick accent gets you the in just about every time. Check out this nugget of brilliance Donger laid on some chick, "Wassa happening hot stuff?" that is panty remover right there brotha. She would have no chance once that stumbled off his tongue. She would be all, "Aww he is so cute." and then the Donger would go in for the kill. The sneaky ninja kill! Another reason the Donger is amazing is because he scored big time while dressing like a nerd. That was the only fair thing to do considering his skills are incalculable. Really would you think it was fair if you came into a room and then the Donger came in dressed like some GQ model? No? I didn't think so. The Donger likes to play fair and to challenge himself. You don't get to be the man by taking the easy way out. The Donger is the man and all should bow to his supreme wisdom! So I guess to sum it all up, LDD is the way to be!

You down with LDD?
Yeah you know me!
MORTEKAI

p.s. Here is a picture for anyone who was thinking I was slacking off. Screw you for thinking that.

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